Come Sail Away with Me or Not
by Still A Mystery
Summary: Booth and Brennan's thoughts the day Sully left. What was Booth thinking when he said to 'live wide? What made Brennan decide to stay?


Disclaimer: I do not own Bones. Wish I did, but I don't.

[Booth's thoughts are in **BOLD**.]

Come Sail Away with Me… Or Not

**Was I surprised when Bones became involved with Sully? Yes. Was I floored when she chose taking a vacation in bed with him over being in the lab? Absolutely. Was I speechless when she said he'd asked her to sail around the Caribbean with him? Hell yeah. I was surprised, floored, and speechless, but also a bit heartbroken… she really could decide to just leave. Who wants to spend their days being surrounded by death and murder when they could be having fun under the sun with someone they enjoy spending time with? She looked at me with those big blue eyes and wanted to know what I thought; if she should go or not. Of course I didn't want her to go. I wanted her by my side- explaining the science, questioning the suspects, shooting the bad guys. However, these past few days made me realize her presence in my life encompassed more than just work. She was woven into everything I did everyday. I spent more time with her than anyone else and, yet, I never saw her as happy as she had been in recent days. The truth was that Sully made her happy. Who was I to deny her that happiness? I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted her to stay, to choose me, she needed to do what made her happy. Her happiness means more to me than my own. So I told her she should go and live wide. Hopefully she didn't hear the tightness and sadness in my voice…**

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I may not be up to date on the lingo or pop culture references, but I am not blind. I know the indicators of flirting and attraction. Charm smiles, good natured bickering, slight touching, and gestures of comfort are all signs that point toward an interest beyond the workplace. Despite his line, I know Booth's actions indicate that he has an interest in me personally. I have taken into account that he may just be a genuinely nice guy; however, in the two years that I have known Booth, I have realized that he is fiercely protective of those he cares deeply about. I want to believe that I can place myself within that category of people.

The first thought that crossed my mind when I met Sully was how much he reminded me of my partner. His toothy smile and warm brown eyes drew me in the same way Booth's had. He was similarly funny and charming, and he too wanted me to experience more of life and less of death. Yes, Sully is a good man. But when he asked me to join him in sailing around the Caribbean, I froze. I immediately felt something holding me back from saying okay and putting my current life on pause. I could rationalize it and say that it was simply my need to stay focused on the career that I spent my life pursuing; but, in all honesty, that was not the case. Despite what everyone believes, I do need a break from death once in a while. Instead, it was my fear of abandoning my self appointed family, my team, which kept me from saying yes the moment he asked. As independent as I like to claim I am, I depend on each of them for various reasons. This is why I asked Angela her opinion on the situation. I figured that she would tell me to sail away, but I could not jump to conclusions. When she sounded more excited than I was at the prospect, I knew I had to find out Booth's thoughts. Even though he said to go and 'live wide,' I heard the subtle hint of sadness, the roughness in his answer. His words said go but his voice said stay…

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**I debated actually going to the marina. Part of me didn't think I could handle seeing her sail off into the sunset without me, but a bigger part of me needed to say goodbye. I tried to prepare myself for the year ahead, but I didn't want to think about it. I would be losing more than just my partner; I'd be losing my best friend. I couldn't imagine not being able to see her everyday. I was sulking in this thought as I approached the dock. When I saw her standing at the end watching the boat sail away without her, I was elated that her feet were planted firmly on dry land. As I strode over to stand by and watch the rest of the scene play out, I knew that it was a close call; I wouldn't be able to keep her next to me for long. She would eventually find something or someone better. But when she turned around and smiled at me, I held out hope that maybe she wouldn't want to look for anything or anyone else. While putting my arm around her shoulder and talking her into breakfast, I wanted nothing more than for eventually to happen immediately.**

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Saying goodbye to Sully, while difficult, was necessary. I couldn't walk away from my life, my friends, my job, for an entire year. And though I'd never admit it to anyone, I couldn't imagine myself without Booth, and that scared me more than sailing away from all that I worked so hard for. I had to know what would happen to us given the chance, and I knew that if I got on that boat the chance would not exist. I can not say how I knew this, but I think I knew it more with my heart than my head… although that is extremely irrational, it is true. Sure, Sully made me happy but being with Booth, even in a strictly partner/friend relationship, was comforting in a way that has eluded me since my parents left. Sully made me feel happy but Booth made me feel… everything. When I turned around and saw Booth just standing there with his hands in his pockets and a charm smile on his face, I knew that I had made the right decision. Walking down the dock wrapped in his arm made me realize that maybe he was right, maybe everything does happen eventually… or at least I hoped so.

AN: If you have time, hit the review button. Let me know your thoughts. I never knew how encouraging a review could be until I started posting stuff. They're greatly appreciated! ~SAM


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